![]() Until then, find a home for your armor, and I’ll see you in the arena. And if you want to call these “soft skills” after you’ve tried putting them into practice-go for it. We just haven’t had the courage for real talk about courage. The skill sets that make up courage are not new they’ve been aspirational leadership skills for as long as there have been leaders. We have to be vigilant about creating a culture in which people feel safe, seen, heard, and respected. To scale daring leadership and build courage in teams and organizations, we have to cultivate a culture in which brave work, tough conversations, and whole hearts are the expectation, and armor is not necessary or rewarded. Our armor-the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that we use to protect ourselves when we aren’t willing and able to rumble with vulnerability-move us out of alignment with our values, corrode trust with our colleagues and teams, and prevent us from being our most courageous selves. The greatest barrier to courageous leadership is not fear-it’s how we respond to our fear. Our ability to be daring leaders will never be greater than our capacity for vulnerability. The foundational skill set of courage-building is “rumbling with vulnerability.” Once we have built these rumbling skills, we can move on to the other three skill sets: Living into Our Values, Braving Trust, and Learning to Rise. Embrace the suck.ĭaring leadership is a collection of four skill sets that are 100% teachable, observable, and measurable. ![]() ![]() You can’t get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability.Here are a few of the big ideas that emerged from this research: Courageous Conversations Protocol, a series of writing exercises a reader can conduct after having begun work with the Six. The goal of Dare to Lead is to share everything we’ve learned about taking off the armor and showing up as leaders in a skills-based and actionable playbook. To be really clear, this is NOT apologising for what you said, but rather making sure that what you said didn’t impact them more than it needed to.I’ve spent twenty years studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy, and I recently completed a seven-year study on brave leadership. “My intention was absolutely not to upset you by saying this, and I think you are one of the good guys, but it’s really important to me that I feel able to say what I need to and to be heard.” “The last thing I wanted to do was to make you feel like you’re under attack, and I do really like working with you, but I really want to make sure that we’re building a working environment where everyone feels equal, valued, and respected.” You don’t want to hurt them with what you’re sayingĪnd that you do really value them as a personīut that you need to be heard on this issue because it is important to you This structure lets you reassure the person that: So how can you help them to feel safe so that you can have this conversation calmly and reach a successful outcome? USE ‘DON’T, DO, BUT’Ī structure you can use to calm down any defensiveness is ‘don’t, do, but’. When people become defensive, it’s rarely because of what you’re saying, it’s because they don’t feel safe they fear that they are going to be humiliated or verbally attacked. Most of the time, the likelihood is that actually the perpetrator will just be embarrassed and apologise, but what if they get defensive?
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